你无法应对愧疚–摘录杰德网站的一段(附上翻译)

原文除自杰德麦肯纳论坛,翻译:云游。

What is guilt? A regret about something that happened in the past, a wanting of something to have been different..it’s easy to make up your own definition and it is going to be appropriate for you. Make up a thousand definitions and not one will change what appeared to have happened in the past. Unless you have some voodoo up your sleeve. In addition, the past you would like to change is not as you remember it. You only have some vague pictures and stories about it.

Stories of the past can be changed though and rationalizations about the past are a favorite human pastime: he did, she did, they did, he cause me to do this, she caused me to do this, that organization caused me to do that, it was because of my parents and how they raised me … blah, blah, blah. The memory of the past is just a story and piling on more stories is an energy wasting mind game.

Take blame, guilt and regret and ask yourself what do they hinge upon? What is the single and only component that is an absolute must in order for those experiences to exist, or at least appear to exist?

Without the sense of the personal, the ”I, me, my, mine” up and running, then who is ”there” to experience the blame, to feel regret and guilt? No one is home… but there’s another facet to loss of the sense of the personal. There is no other person ”out there”. This is experienced as not seeing another but only one’s ”Self” (capital ”S”) as everything that is seen, heard, etc.

It’s impossible for you to hurt anyone, as BK points out better than I, because it’s only their stories of ”shoulds, woulds, can’ts, and musts” that are being bruised. In reality they (you) hurt themselves (you). These imperatives are always based on the past because if they were based on the present one would instantly see what’s going on and there would be no ”shoulds, woulds, can’ts, and musts” because there is only what is and it’s all You anyways.  If anyone is responsible for other’s stories, it’s certainly not you. You don’t make up their stories, maybe your own, but certainly not theirs.

Have you ever been involved in a divorce or breakup. What really happens? It’s usually one of the biggest comedy routines in this dream and it’s repeated thousands of times every day. One party (their stories) feels deceived or offended by another party and thus the you-know-what hits the fan. Defenses (the fences) are raises, stories are cemented in place and sometimes it takes years for people to get over it. What on earth is going on?

Wife: Sorry baby, I don’t love you any more.

Husband: Got it hon, I am having an affair anyways.

Wife: Wow, that sounds like fun.

Husband: Well, it is, at least temporarily as Jed has explained.

Wife: So, what will we do?

Husband: Well… I guess that breaking up is what comes next.

Wife: Sounds reasonable, let’s list all those little details that we need to take care of.

Husband: Let’s make a plan.

Is that a ridiculous scenario… absolutely not and was pretty much what happened after my second marriage of 20 years (actually not the affair part… it was only inserted to get your attention). If you want drama and gnashing of teeth then go for it… FULL ON… mind you, it can be pretty tiring and I don’t recommend it. Your will be putting unnecessary wear and tear on the body which will just age the dream character.

And then there are the ”friends” who are quick to say ”We don’t take sides” and then promptly do so because their stories of you two as a ”couple” has just been shattered.

I don’t write this to criticize those who have gone through such travails… I seek to point out that the anxiety that arises is an absolute and total waste of time. If your mate finds someone who seems to make him or her happier then why on earth would you not want them to pursue that. Don’t you want someone you care about to be happy? Are you petty, jealous, envious, insecure… NO… you are just believing stories that are doomed to be blown out of the water… someday. Knowing that there is no such thing as another your experience the world is one. No one can hurt you and you can’t hurt anyone… only their stories hurt and those stories are always stories of separation.

I understand that this rant sounds idealistic and quite impossible to execute when view from within the human dream. Realize your True Nature and it will effortlessly be your experience. Go there… and find out for yourself. It’s the only way you will believe and experience it. Be careful about jumping to conclusion when you haven’t walked the walk of T/R. Stories are not living, they are fictions. You can’t ”deal” with guilt because it is just another story. When nothing is personal this whole dream lightens up and is seen for what it is. You can make up any story you feel like, but you will never believe it again. With no belief attached there is no crash possible.

Love ya, Jed.

杰德杂谈:你无法应对愧疚

什么是负罪感?悔恨是关于过去发生的事,和你想要的不一样。你可以臆想出上千个事情应该如何发生的理由,但没有一个能改变发生了的事。除非你有什么法术。另外,你想改变的过去,其实并不是像你记忆中的那样。你只不过有一些关于它的模糊的影像和故事而已。

然而,关于过去的故事却是可以改变的,带着理性去看待过去,是一个让人喜爱的人类消遣方式:他/她/他们做了这个,他/她/某某机构导致我做了这个,就是因为我的父母以及他们如何养育我而。。。。等等,等等。关于过去的记忆只不过是建立在众多故事上的故事,这是一个浪费精力的头脑游戏。

拿责备,愧疚和悔恨的经历来说,问问你自己,他们依附在哪里?为了让那些经历得以存在,或者说貌似存在的那个唯一的必不可少部分是什么?

没有“我,自己,我的”这些自我感在运作,是谁在“这里”经历责备,在感受愧疚和悔恨?没有自我……..但是失去自我感的同时也相应的有另一方面。那就是,同样的,也没有人在“外面”。这种体会就是一切由心而生,所有看到听到的都是真心的展现。

认为你能伤害某个人是不可能的,拜伦凯蒂在这点上比我说的好。认为伤害了别人,仅仅是因为他们头脑里那些伤痕累累的故事,那些关于“应该,要是,不能和必须”的故事。实际上是他们(你)伤害了他们(你)自己。这些感受总是基于过去的经验,因为如果是基于当下,那么一个人会即刻看清楚发生了什么,就不会有“应该,要是,不能和必须”的念头,因为当下如是就是一切,一切都是你。如果任何人需要为别人的故事负责,可以肯定的是,那人一定不是你。你没有编造他们的故事,你有可能编造你自己的故事,但绝对不是他们的。

你曾经经历过离婚或分手吗?实际上发生了什么?往往发生的都是人生梦境中最大的喜剧套路中的一个,这样的套路每天能重复成百上千次。无非就是其中的一方(是其实TA 的故事)感觉被另一方欺骗,冒犯,然后就是一地鸡毛。然后互相开始设防(有隔阂),故事变得越来越真实,有时需要很多年才能让人想通。怎么会这样呢?

妻子:抱歉宝贝,我不再爱你了。

丈夫:我明白,亲爱的,反正我也有外遇了。

妻子:哇,听起来挺有趣啊。

丈夫:嗯,是的,就像杰德所说的,至少暂时还挺有趣。

妻子:那么,我们怎么办呢?

丈夫:嗯,我想接下来就是分手了吧。

妻子:听着合理,那么让我们把那些需要应对的小细节都罗列出来吧。

丈夫:我们做个计划吧。

这是一个搞笑场景吗?绝对不是,这差不多就是我结束20年的二婚后的情景(实际上外遇那部分不是真的,只是为了吸引注意力而加上去的)。如果你想要把事搞大,咬牙切齿的,那就去做吧,全力以赴。不过我提醒你,相当的累人,我也不建议这么做。你会给身体加注不必要的伤害,而且结果只会让梦中的角色变老。

接下来会有一些“朋友”赶紧说“我们不支持任何一方”,然后迅速的选择了一方,因为他们关于你俩是一对的故事刚刚被击的粉碎。

我写这些不是为了批评那些刚刚经历过这些痛苦的人们。我是为了指出,那些产生的焦虑纯粹就是浪费时间。如果你的伴侣找到了一个似乎能让他或她更开心的人,那么究竟为什么你不想让他们去追求那个?难道你不想让你关心的人开心吗?你是不是小气,嫉妒,羡慕,不安?不,你只是相信了那个你总有一天注定要被蹬了的故事。要知道没有所谓的你的另一个经验,世界是一体的。没人能伤害你,你也伤害不了别人,只有他们的故事会伤人,而且那些故事都是关于分离的故事。

我理解这次的杂谈听起来很理想化,并且从人类梦境的角度来看很难操作。认识到你的真实本性,我说的那些将会自然而然的成为你的体验。走向内心,自己去寻找。这是唯一能让你相信并体验的方式。注意,在你没有真正的走完悟道之路前不要妄下结论。故事不是生活,它们是虚构的。你无法“应对”愧疚,因为它本身就是另一个故事。当没有什么是关于自我的,整个梦境就被照亮了,被如其所是的看到。你可以编造任何你喜欢的故事,但你永远不会再相信了。没有信仰的附着,就没有崩塌的可能。

爱你的杰德

云游 2020年3月8日

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